Here I am, typical couch potato guy, watching the Red Sox play Baltimore at Camden Yard. When I was a kid, the Orioles played in a park called Memorial Stadium. That sounds right. That sounds like what a baseball park should be called. Camden Yard?

That sounds like some freakin' boutique on Newbury Street in Boston. Speaking of which...

Fenway Park? That's what they've been calling it since 1912. Maybe it's time for a name change. Any suggestions?

Everything is so interactive these days. You watch a Sox game and the stars aren't really Manny, Ortiz and Schilling; they're the jerks with the cell phones waving at the cameras.

Fenway Park? That was then.

This is now. This is what the park's name should be changed to:

MyWay Park.

Where was I?

Watching the Red Sox play the Orioles and recalling the Emily Dickinson line: " Hope is the thing with feathers. " If I believed that, I'd be rooting for the Birds. Schilling's pitching. Schilling, a pitcher about whom I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, he's a character straight out of a Bernard Malamud novel. A Robert Redford like Roy Hobbsian hero. His red sox the color of blood. On the other hand, he's a PR guy. Always selling something or someone. Usually himself. Schilling. Shilling. It's like he was named by Charles Dickens

And what am I doing? Commenting to Donna:

" Schilling got a haircut. "

" What? "

" Schilling. He got a haircut. Went all last season without getting one. "

" Haircut? "

" Yeah. He got a haircut. Ya know, guys over 40. Long hair on 'em looks pretty stupid. Whaddya think? "

" What do I think? "

" About Schillings' hair. "

" I dunno. It's OK I guess. "

Women. It's so fucking hard to engage them in a conversation about baseball. Always was. Always will be. It's why sports bars are proliferating. Places where guys can be guys. Talk about stuff guys like to talk about.

Like Haircuts n Stuff.