Thursday, April 26, 2007

" ... Ms. Walters, who shares a publicist with Ms. O'Donnell... "

From news story re: Rosie O'Donnell's most recent leaving behavior

Rosie O'Donnell has a publicist? She needs one? Like Rosie's some kind of Pynchonian or Salingerlike recluse whom we wouldn't be paying attention to or anything. Like she has stage fright. Is shy as DiNero. A publicist?

What the hell are the qualifications for this job? Knowing how to say:

" What she meant to say... " in ten different languages?

Rosie O'Donnell has a publicist? I want that job. I've been applying for years to be Elle McPherson's massage therapist. I send my resumes. I call. Hear nothing back. I'm gonna give up. I'm gonna apply for another job:

Rosie's publicist. That's my dream job right now.

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