This is a cranky email I just sent to the weather guy on the local news...

Dear John Ghiorse

We're about the same age. Remember when we were in high school and we listened to the radio to see whether the weather was going to be responsible for us getting a day off? We listened to the radio. The guy said a storm was coming. A winter storm. A blizzard. Heavy snow.

That's how he described what was coming.

Event? Did he say, " There's going to be an event, blah, blah, yadda? " Nope. Wouldn't have dreamed of using that word. An event was the Celtics playing the Lakers post season. An event was Jerry Lee Lewis appearing at the Mountain Park casino in western Mass. where I'm originally from ( John Quill was my weatherman; he wouldn't have said " event, " unless he was talking about the Eastern States Exposition )

Back then weather guys said, " There's a chance of rain. Or snow. Or fog. They spoke English.

Please. Don't follow the lead of the morons on the Weather Channel, where everything, from dew on the grass in the morning to Katrina is an:

Event.

Anna Nicole Smith rises from the dead and runs naked through puddles formed by a steady rain falling in Providence...

That would be an " Event. " Until then, please say what it is.

Thank you for your time.

Terrence McCarthy in ( Eventless, Boring, South Kingstown )