Friday, March 9, 2007

" Boston Celtics radio commentator Cedric Maxwell issued an on air apology yesterday after he said of a female referee, " Go back into the kitchen. "


Before I get to my statement I'd like to make an opening statement. I want to apologize to Senator Schumer for what I said earlier today. I didn't mean to call Senator Schumer a " Lying, squirming, weasel-like bastard. " I was wrong to do that.

I have no evidence that he is, in fact, a bastard. I did not know Senator Schumer's father. I did not know Senator Schumer's mother. I have no way of knowing the circumstances surrounding his birth.

I'm sorry about calling Senator Schumer a " bastard. "

I do, however, stand by my statements concerning his lying, squirming, weasel-like ways.

But, again...I am sorry about the bastard remark. I don't know where that came from. It wasn't like me. As a matter of fact, I'm thinking:

Maybe it wasn't me who said that. Or, maybe someone put a gun to my head and made me say that. To the best of my recollection, that might have been what happened. I could have been drunk. I have no recollection of drinking, however. I want to make that perfectly clear. Maybe someone slipped something into my tea. I wouldn't put it past them.

Make no mistake. A mistake was, indeed made. I'm just not sure if it was made by me.

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