Sunday, June 3, 2007

" Well, we're going to need a starter for Monday. We didn't know until today that he wasn't going to make a start. "

Yankee manager Joe Torre upon hearing that pitcher Roger Clemens
has a " fatigued groin " and will not work his scheduled shift June 4.


Roger Clemens, seven time Cy Young Award winner, was coaxed out of retirement last month and agreed to take a $28 million salary to work part-time for a New York company headquartered in The Bronx.

Clemens, who will turn 45 in August, was to start against the White Sox tomorrow. But as another southern diva once said, " Tomorrow is another day. "

Clemens claims he has a " fatigued groin. " I wouldn't touch that line with a ten foot Louisville Slugger. But the sports talk show guys are likely to have a field day with it.

This just might turn out to be the biggest workmans compensation fraud case in history. Clemens calling in sick two days before he's scheduled to start his first shift? C'mon.

Joe Torre: Hello?

Roger: Uh, hi, boss.

Joe: How ya doin'?

Roger: Uh, not so good. I'm not feeling real well and...

Joe: Not feeling well? What's the problem?

Roger: It's my groin

Joe: It's growing? What's growing!!

Roger: No, no. It's my GROIN!

Joe: These damn cell phones, I thought ya said...

Roger: I know. I'm in Texas. Lots of dead spots down here...

Joe: So, what's the story? Ya can't make it in Monday?

Roger: Roger that.

Joe: Roger what?

Roger: I won't be in Monday.

Joe: How about Friday?

Roger: Friday? What about Friday?

Joe: That's when y'er scheduled to work again.

Roger: Let me check my organizer here...

Joe: I gotta go. We're about to play Boston.

Roger: Goodbye.

Joe: What was that?

Roger: I said goodbye


People collecting workmans comp by faking injuries is, I think, an epidemic in this country. It's gonna get worse, just you wait and see. Role models? Yeah, right.

Something tells me it isn't TB isn't what we should be worrying about.

It's RC.

2 comments:

Mr. Collins said...

well finally I have a polite term for my malady too.

Terrence said...

Yet another line I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. I'm hoping the malady to which you refer is your rotator cuff tear. Alas...